A few weeks have gone by, and not surprisingly we have had the opportunity to have more and more conversations about adoption.
Through these conversations, something has been consistently on the minds of those who talk to us: Why are we hoping to adopt an international child?
We hadn’t really examined this issue very thoroughly since we had envisioned international adoption in the first place. But what seems normal to us could certainly confuse others, especially since there are so many American kids in “the system” that need good homes and parents.
We want to be clear about two things:
1. Race does not change our theology of adoption. We believe that it breaks God’s heart when children are fatherless; regardless of what society those children happen to live in.
2. The best case scenario in a perfect world would be for all kids to be raised by capable birth parents. When it doesn’t happen, there are challenging losses that will have to be dealt with by adoptive parents.
In light of those two statements, we have to realize that situations are not ideal, or even tolerable in many cases, so what should our response be?
One of the contributing factors in our decision to adopt internationally is simply sheer numbers. You could fill up many of America’s largest cities with African orphans. Different sources report varying numbers, but the true number is somewhere in the tens of millions. The same could be said for Asia, Latin America, and parts of Europe. There are simply more children available, and less of a likelihood that biological families will ever be willing or able to care for them.
Secondly, there is a huge gap in the circumstances that generally face orphans in the U.S. versus abroad. Not to say that kids here don’t face problems, but society (church, government, social institutions) generally aides healthcare, nourishment, and education for those that need it. What’s the answer for a boy with no family in Honduras: possibly the drug trade and brutal violence. What’s the fate of girls in Asia whose parents can’t care for them? Sex trafficking or slavery, many times. Now, are girls sexually abused in the States? Yes. Are there young boys without food? Absolutely. But the scope and scale of these atrocities in third world countries with corrupt governments and beyond-fragile societal structures are massive.
I think the third and final thing that leads us to international adoption is just that we feel like we have been called to it. If it were simply about charity, then sure, food and shelter can be handed out to anyone. But this is deeper than that, and our hearts are stirred towards the thought of a multicultural family. As we said in earlier posts, there is a transforming work going on inside of us. If that work was leading us to become American foster parents, or dig in for an adoption process in the American court system, I’d like to think we would be willing and open to that. We certainly admire those who are walking that path.
Ultimately, our call to adoption is not “come and live in America”. Our call is “come and be part of our family”.
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