Making Our Case

A few weeks have gone by, and not surprisingly we have had the opportunity to have more and more conversations about adoption.

Through these conversations, something has been consistently on the minds of those who talk to us: Why are we hoping to adopt an international child?

We hadn’t really examined this issue very thoroughly since we had envisioned international adoption in the first place. But what seems normal to us could certainly confuse others, especially since there are so many American kids in “the system” that need good homes and parents.

We want to be clear about two things:

1. Race does not change our theology of adoption. We believe that it breaks God’s heart when children are fatherless; regardless of what society those children happen to live in.

2. The best case scenario in a perfect world would be for all kids to be raised by capable birth parents. When it doesn’t happen, there are challenging losses that will have to be dealt with by adoptive parents.

In light of those two statements, we have to realize that situations are not ideal, or even tolerable in many cases, so what should our response be?

One of the contributing factors in our decision to adopt internationally is simply sheer numbers. You could fill up many of America’s largest cities with African orphans. Different sources report varying numbers, but the true number is somewhere in the tens of millions. The same could be said for Asia, Latin America, and parts of Europe. There are simply more children available, and less of a likelihood that biological families will ever be willing or able to care for them.

Secondly, there is a huge gap in the circumstances that generally face orphans in the U.S. versus abroad. Not to say that kids here don’t face problems, but society (church, government, social institutions) generally aides healthcare, nourishment, and education for those that need it. What’s the answer for a boy with no family in Honduras: possibly the drug trade and brutal violence. What’s the fate of girls in Asia whose parents can’t care for them? Sex trafficking or slavery, many times. Now, are girls sexually abused in the States? Yes. Are there young boys without food? Absolutely. But the scope and scale of these atrocities in third world countries with corrupt governments and beyond-fragile societal structures are massive.

I think the third and final thing that leads us to international adoption is just that we feel like we have been called to it. If it were simply about charity, then sure, food and shelter can be handed out to anyone. But this is deeper than that, and our hearts are stirred towards the thought of a multicultural family. As we said in earlier posts, there is a transforming work going on inside of us. If that work was leading us to become American foster parents, or dig in for an adoption process in the American court system, I’d like to think we would be willing and open to that. We certainly admire those who are walking that path.

Ultimately, our call to adoption is not “come and live in America”. Our call is “come and be part of our family”.

Articles:

Business Week Adoption Pros and Cons

Newsweek

Together for Adoption: Down Under

So, Now What?

Well....After hearing from Bryce and myself about why we have chosen to adopt, you might wonder where we are in this process.

I would call this step...research, Research, RESEARCH!!

I have spent many of my days off searching adoption agency and resource websites. A challenge that we have encountered is satisfying qualifications for adopting parents. Many countries require adopting parents to be 25 or older and also have marriage requirements of 3 years or longer. We don't meet either of those at this point! So, already our options are narrowed.

There are other factors such as age, gender, and region of the world that can narrow down options as well. With all the unknowns and choices, just getting started in the thinking process can be overwhelming. Probably the most important thing in overcoming this, as we have learned through investigations and personal testimony, is choosing an adoption agency that fits your personality. They will be the guides through the process, everything from paperwork to in country details. A great resource for anyone starting the adoption process is Loving Shepherd Ministries. They have been able to give us SO much information about agency reputations and complaints/problems they have had. They also have lots of information about specific country adoption programs. We even have a list of questions to ask potential adoption agencies about their programs.

Another name I would give this step in the process is "Waiting time #1". There will be several more periods in this process that require patience, and this initial "getting started" phase is probably a blessing that will prepare us for those.

We are waiting for God to reveal what country our child is in, and what agency He will use to direct us to them. We do have a phone consultation set for April 12th with an agency in Indiana. Please pray for guidance and discernment in the upcoming weeks and months.

For now, we are thinking our family could end up looking something like this.

From My Perspective (Bryce Post)

As Maryl explained below, the last several months have been instrumental in shaping how we envision the next several years. Where we may have had visions of a more carefree mid-to-late 20’s, with the “distraction” of kids coming later, our call to adoption has changed that line of thinking.

Through the process, we have started to hear and see things differently. We hear song lyrics through a different filter. We process and internalize sermons with a different bent. We read and pray differently. There is clearly a new work that has happened within us, one that fits into our greater purpose as Christians.

Romans 8, 2 Corinthians 5, Revelation 21….there are several passages that make something clear: creation has been made new (past), is in the process of being made new (present), and will be made new in coming days (future). It’s a process that God uses His spirit, His church, and ultimately His son to accomplish. This truth continues to encourage us through song, spoken word, and written word as we anticipate the coming months.

So, how does this “new work” play out through adoption?

• Most evidently, a new family for a child that needs it.
• New ways Maryl and I will need to support each other.
• New ways we will have to seek the Lord as a family.
• New great-grandkids, grandkids, nieces, and nephews for our extended family to love.
• We pray, new additions to the Lord’s kingdom as He calls our future children to Himself.

So for me, that’s primarily what this is about. Making ourselves, our resources, our home, and the network of people around us available, and seeing what the Lord will choose to do through us.

And with that said, John Piper describes the purposes of adoption through God's grace better than I ever could:

Indebted to Blog

Hello to all!! We have decided to start a blog so that we can keep all of our friends and family who are far away updated on life's events. We have shared with many of you that we feel called by God to adopt internationally. Our hope is that this can also double as a resource for anyone who desires to pursue adoption. Each step of the way we will post updates, struggles, and victories! At this point we are not experts on this topic, but as we progress through this journey we would love to help answer any questions.

So...the big question we have gotten so far is Why Adopt? and its still a very complex question to answer. For me, Maryl, its a two part answer. One, we want to be parents! Definitely the simpler answer. We are approaching a point in our life where we want to welcome children into our home. Second, and more difficult to explain, God has placed a burden for orphans in our hearts. Bryce and I both grew up in church. We have read the New Testament books. But, recently God has opened our eyes and hearts to His call to care for orphans. Through the council of close friends, pastors, reading the book Adopted for Life by Russell Moore, and a deeper understanding of His gospel, we are convinced that for us adoption is a visual representation of God's love for His children. Being a Christian to me meant not cursing, not stealing, not lying, not having sex before marriage, not engaging in "bad things." Which I still would say are important to me. But, I always focused on what NOT to do, and I now understand that I have been leaving out what TO DO. God has called us to love the world in the way He does. Love the homeless, the orphans, the widows, the prisoners, the drug dealers, the prostitutes, the least of these. Because "all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God" Romans 3:23. AND "Pure and genuine religion in the sight of God the Father means caring for orphans and widows in their distress and refusing to let the world corrupt you." James 1:27 This is why we no longer have a choice about adoption. God has called us to adopt, and for us saying no would be sinning.

We are so excited to start this process. Thank you in advance to everyone for their love and support during these upcoming months!